If you’ve been to a yoga class lately, listened to, or read any materials on mindfulness, meditation or other related disciplines, it’s possible you may have heard phrases like:
“Tune into your inner voice…”
“Quiet the mind and listen…”
“Check in and notice what you need…”
It’s possible that somewhere along the path of your own practice, you may have thought “Alright, but, like – what in the heck does that even mean?”
And if you have… well, honestly, that’s fair!
Something I believe we are sometimes guilty of in the yoga world is using broad statements such as these to encourage mindfulness and introspection, without necessarily giving the student an idea of how to actually do this thing we are instructing.
And to my fellow yoga teachers out there, I will say: this is understandable, too, because these can be a rather abstract notions!
Where would I begin to find my ‘inner voice’ if this were a new concept to me? What does it mean to check in with myself? How do I know what I need? Or, better yet, for some – how would I not know what I need?! Am I not the only one inside of my own mind & body?!
The fact is, if we haven’t spent time consciously cultivating a practice of self-regulation, mindfulness, or conscious-living, or if we haven’t taken a deep dive into our own thoughts, feelings and lived experiences, we can be a little bit disconnected from our inner world. I certainly didn’t have these skills in my younger years, and it takes time to develop this kind of self-awareness. But when you do, it is so, so helpful.
Have you ever had a teeny, tiny idea that something was going to go badly, did it anyway, and then, low & behold: it did? Have you ever continued to spend time with people, or frequent certain places, or engage with things that deep down, you kinda-sorta knew weren’t right for you? Do you ever try to push yourself through working harder, exercising, or doing things a certain way, because it’s what everybody around you is doing? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed and unsure what to do with your thoughts & emotions, big and small? Does it feel exhausting trying to keep up with everybody else?
If any of these feel like a yes, it’s possible you may not be living in alignment with your truest self and your own needs. You may need to spend some time listening, and learning to listen, to your true self, your inner voice, to find answers to the big questions.
And let me not sit upon my high horse: I am still learning to listen, too. Sometimes I ignore the inner voice, too. Sometimes I fall into old patterns, too. We are only human. We will never be finished learning, but we can always continue to expand our consciousness and move closer to ourselves.
So, what does it really mean to listen to ourselves?
In short, and at least by own humble opinion and definition, I think listening to ourselves means being present to the constant fluctuations within own body and mind, and developing some awareness of how to wade through all the noise to get to the real root of what we need, in any given moment, large or small.
It means getting to know yourself well enough to truly understand your needs, wants, desires, values, fears, worries, shortcomings, flaws; because understanding can often be the first step towards a positive shift, towards self-improvement, towards healing.
I think it’s taking the clarity of “I’m going to take a walk to clear my head” and applying it to life in general, in little, manageable doses.
It’s observing how you feel when you do certain activities, consume certain ideas and materials; take in various forms of nourishment. It’s understanding how external factors might be impacting you, so you can show yourself some grace and take it all in stride, and ultimately, make the choices that are most aligned with what you need.
For a long time, I never knew how the foods I ate made me feel – I didn’t understand how I could possibly remember everything I ate over the past several days, let alone connect it to my energy levels, my digestion, and a whole host of other things happening in my body.
Similarly, I didn’t necessarily fully understand how the changing of seasons created such fluctuations in my energy, moods, and even my desires and interests.
The more I learned to pay attention, the more I understood. The more I understood, the more I could accept; the more I could adapt accordingly; the more I could live in alignment with who and what I wish to be. And let me tell you: good things unfold when this happens.
I think it’s worth saying again: I am not here to preach and I am by no means perfect myself. I think this is a lifelong practice, but as you pick up little pieces along the journey, you will be able to return to the path again and again.
So, how do we start listening better?
1. Be a little less busy:
In our modern life, there can be many distractions. It’s easy to stay extremely busy with work, social engagements, side hustles and even scrolling social media. When we’re interacting in this way, we are often taking in the opinions of others, and keeping the mind very busy. It can all be a great distraction from what’s going on inside.
There’s nothing wrong with keeping a busy schedule, if the activities light you up, but it’s important to take a little time out each week where you don’t have plans, where you can have time for you, to think, reflect and do what feels right.
Take moments to be in stillness and observe the mind. This could mean your yoga practice, or cultivating a meditation, mindfulness or even a breath-focused practice where you sit and notice what comes up. What thoughts enter the mind? Which ones feel most like you? Which ones feel intrusive? Can you observe them all, without judgement and just be there with yourself?
2. Sit quietly:
If a long practice feels daunting, start with quietly sitting for 5 minutes. Maybe you do this in the morning before the rest of the house wakes up. Maybe you carve out time in the evening as part of your bedtime routine.
Find a practice that works for you; that feels manageable, and that allows you, little by little, to get in touch with yourself.
This is where you start to listen a little bit more. Observing and quieting the mind even more than in those brief moments throughout the day.
3. Be patient:
Know that it takes time, effort and persistent self-work to cultivate these practices. I cannot prescribe how much time to might take you to feel connected to your inner world. But, if you’re here, you’re probably on the right path already!
Do the work, take small efforts each day and let it unfold as you learn about yourself and start to listen better. There will not necessarily be a point where you’re “done” this work. It is the kind of effort that continues to expand.
Finally, remember that self-care is not selfish. When you look after yourself, and listen to yourself, you are able to bring the best version of you forward for everyone around you.
Keep practicing 🙏🏻
-MT