I have always felt a little conflicted by this season of “fall.”
On the one hand, it’s such a beautiful time. Watching the seemingly magical change in colour that the trees offer us, like an annual performatory art form dotting the horizon. Enjoying the seasonal foods of the harvest time: often bringing comfort foods like soups, hearty stews, squash, pumpkin. The cooler, yet still warm, sunny days. (And what millennial girl in her right mind doesn’t love a little pumpkin spice, amiright?)
On the other hand, there can be a heaviness that starts to set in. The lessening of light can really have a serious impact on many of us here in the northern hemisphere. We might feel more tired, have a sense that we are becoming “lazy” or we might even start to feel downright depressed. (Sidenote: This post is a reflection, and not a substitute for professional mental health services in any way. If you are struggling with your mental health, or suspect you may have Seasonal Affective Disorder, reach out to your trusted healthcare professional, or contact the Canadian Mental Health Association. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please call the Suicide Prevention Helpline – 24/7 at 1-833-456-4566.)
We may mourn the end of summer and all the fun get-togethers, celebrations and high-energy activities the long, hot days brought. We might start to dread the inevitable fall of snow, arrival of extreme cold, and the extra effort all of this can bring.
It’s a lot to navigate. Emotionally, physically, energetically.
It may feel like too much to bear, at times.
In recent years, thanks to the practice of yoga & mindfulness, I have become much more in tune with my body and conscious of what it’s asking for.
I have come to actually notice the cycle of changes and expect what might shift within me, anticipating it before it happens, while simultaneously remaining mindful to not to let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy of sadness and overwhelm. I simply know that I cannot maintain the same pace and energy as I did during the summer months. I may need to say no to more things, I may need to rest a little more, I may want & need to prioritize myself differently. I need to be a little gentler with myself.
Recently, I came across this post on Instagram, shared by the account for Yoga International:
I thought this was a beautiful, and important reminder. If we are not conscious of how our surroundings affect us, we can easily slip into feelings of laziness, of inadequacy, of frustration. And these things only make us more tired, more emotional, more energetically drained.
I remember a time when I didn’t really understand what was happening to me during the changing of seasons. I would try to maintain the pace of life I felt I needed to move at, ending up exhausted, wondering why I felt the need to nap after work, why my sleep cycle became so erratic, and at times I’d get really upset that I wasn’t being “productive enough.” It felt like a constant, losing battle against myself.
Now, although it still feels like a challenging and heavy time in many ways, I have shifted my thinking. Instead of asking why I can’t keep up, I ask myself what I need, and how I can embrace this time of change.
Some important questions we can all ponder:
What if it’s okay to rest a little more?
What if I said ‘no’ instead of yes, and took time for me, instead?
What if it’s perfectly okay to move a little slower, to exercise & practice self-care in a different way than I did before, what if it’s okay to eat the foods we’re craving? What if we didn’t suppress these needs?
What if there was a way to honour and enjoy the season, while holding onto the duality that it can be both hard, and beautiful at the same time?
I realize that all of this can fall into the category of easier said than done, especially with the demands of a capitalistic schedule weighing on us. It may feel like an immense amount of privilege is required to actually be able to slow down.
But what you can do, what we can all do, is be a little gentler with ourselves. We can show ourselves forgiveness, and understanding, and compassion, and grace. Allow us to not shame ourselves for being a living, feeling, breathing part of this universe.
We can tell ourselves that no, we are not lazy; everybody gets tired sometimes. It’s part of the natural order of things.
And maybe, just maybe, we can find some small way to embrace the season, to welcome the slow down, and invite in just a little bit more rest.
Let this season be, whatever this season needs to be.
-MT 🙏🏻