Do you ever get caught up in this mindset: “once I get X done, then I’ll take a break.” ❓
“If I work a little longer today, I’ll start tomorrow in a better spot.”
“I just need to get all my work done, THEN I’ll take some time for myself.”
“Things are crazy right now, but it’s OK because I’m going on vacation next month.”
Maybe this sounds a little familiar. Maybe your self-talk looks a bit different, but you still feel exhausted, burnt-out, overwhelmed, or like you have no choice but to keep going and pushing through – because peventually, if you work hard enough, if you do enough, it will all pay off… right?!
Well, I’m starting to think it’s not exactly right.
Over the past year, I’ve been breaking up with this way of thinking and working.
I’ve gone from burnt-out, tired, working late, skipping lunch (or taking a 1 minute “break” to warm up some food and then sitting back at my desk to eat while I work), and feeling resentment, to slowly but surely finding some semblance of balance.
It was not easy. It took me a long time, even as I made the changes, to reflect and consider how I personally fuelled that relationship. Originally, I blamed the work.
Don’t get me wrong: where you work, what you do, the culture in the workplace, the demands of your particular role, and many other things on a long list of capitalistic crap, are absolutely factors in all of this!
But, so is mindset.
Sometimes we choose to stay stuck. Whether deliberately or unintentionally, we decide not to see that there can be another way.
If you think about the statements at the top of this post, how many times do you say or think them automatically, out of habit? How often do you consider whether they are truly rooted in fact, or some other belief system you’ve stumbled upon? How many times have you skipped lunch and actually got “caught up,” as a result of that sacrifice?
Something I’ve been pondering lately is just how engrained these thought patterns can be within us. I think in many cases we are trained to think this way from a young age. We are trained to work hard, to perform, and unfortunately, often, to equate our value and our worth with these things above all else!
Growing up, did you often hear…
“You have to do your homework Friday night and THEN you can enjoy your weekend.”
“Clean your room and THEN you can go out with your friends.”
“Do your chores first and THEN you can watch TV.”
These may be all well and good when teaching a child responsibility.
Only problem is… nobody tells you that different rules apply in adulthood.
Because as anyone with a little adulting experience well knows… the work is always there.
There are always more things to fix, to optimize, to complete, to perfect, to finish.
There is just always… more.
Whether you have a corporate job, whether you’re an entrepreneur, whether you have a home or family to look after… there is just always more to do. (Which can be an overwhelming & exhausting thought, if we allow it to be!)
So by waiting for it all to be done, we never let ourselves get to the “then” part – the prize at the end of doing the good thing. We may rarely let ourselves relax or rest or take a break (which, by the way, are basic needs!)
Maybe we wait for the weekend, maybe we wait until month-end targets are met, maybe we wait until that long dreamt of vacation!
… but then do we come back, nearly as exhausted as when we left, to repeat the cycle over again?
Ultimately, this leads to burnout. It leads to a poor relationship with work. It can lead to resentment towards a career you were once passionate about, towards a family you love, towards life in general even.
Now, don’t let me allude you into believing I have it all figured out. I don’t. I’m still working on it every day. But let me tell you: Things have sure changed since I started making balance a daily priority.
Since I started taking lunch breaks every day – outside when I can!
Since I started leaving tasks for tomorrow – those emails will still be there in the morning, trust me!
Since I started paying attention to my relationship with work in a different way – not just “how well am I doing?” and “am I succeeding?” But rather: “Is this serving me?” and “How can I bring more balance into my day?”
Since I realized I do deserve rest. Our bodies and minds were not designed to keep pushing, keep producing, keep giving the same high level of effort every. single. day, with no break. Through making changes, I finally discovered I actually get more work done if I take a lunch hour to think about something different for awhile. Same applies when I end my workday at a reasonable time and enjoy other activities on the evening!
Since I started being gentler with myself.
I know this can all sound.. pretty simple. But I also know, in practice, sometimes it isn’t.
It takes actually making the small adjustments towards big change to really, truly understand how these simple concepts work.
If you’re in the depths of it right now, what is one small thing you could do differently, even if just for today?
If any of this resonates with you, reach out and let me know!
Til next time, yogi friends 🤍🙏🏻